Chase Berggrun
FIRST MURDER OF THE YEAR
—for Tony Spaulding, slain January 1st, 2013, Allston Massachusetts
Later
the body
looked lighter
the truth of death
was offered
like a wishbone,
built for
two hands
how can you love me
now that you know
I am pinned to nothing
how can you love me
when you can only wait
ready in your box
like an unlit match
a question
a long time coming
something like
will anything
open for you
will anything
bring you
from pain, a gossamer
weight, lifted high
like a pane of glass
my dream last night:
with the knife
halfway to your heart
you sighed,
said softly
stay cool.
POEM WITH A LINE BY MATTHEW ROHRER
it’s 2:17 pm why
not pour another rum & Fanta
there is something about a photograph
that poisons the heart I’ve been
thinking about how all the important
& insignificant events of the day
are basically the same
to the extent that I’ll remember neither;
I’ve been thinking about how
to Satanists Satan isn’t Satan
but a symbol of pleasure & justified
excess; is hedonism in & of itself
a noble end; I don’t really care if
it isn’t I enjoy enjoying; I’ve been thinking
about how deeply I’ve ruined myself;
I’ve been thinking about quitting everything &
trying to make it work in Oklahoma;
I haven’t really been thinking about that;
what’s the difference between
thought & fancy; desire & fantasy;
blasphemy’s so near to prayer as to
be almost indistinguishable; I confess
I haven’t thought of you in many months
though I have dreamed; & how much
sweeter, the dream; your face now
would only taint the reality that I invented
so lovingly; I confess these dreams
involve consuming your blood; I confess
nothing; I regret nothing; I am ashamed
of nothing at all, nothing; I confess my heart
was poisoned long ago; but look at the sky; I’m still here
